these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
