My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
