Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
