Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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