Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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