Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
