Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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