You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
