Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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