she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
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