Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
