my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
