well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
