I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
