so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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