I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
MIDGETS
????
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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