I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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