sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
