How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
