I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
