i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
