in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
