She's JV to your varsity
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
