Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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