i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
