Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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