it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
