If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
