We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
