as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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