do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
