And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
