Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
