how can u be prego again
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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