You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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