And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
