Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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