Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
