How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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