North Korea, Best Korea!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
