he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
