Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
