Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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