So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
