You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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