i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize