giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
