that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
