I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
