so that wasnt chicken after all
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just cropdusted the office
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
