i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
