I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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